The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle? “Me too.”
by Todd Foley
Words of empathy carry so much power. They help to normalize struggles and are the most valuable response to an act of vulnerability.
I could say so much more, but I’d just be reiterating what Brene Brown says in this TED talk on shame, guilt and vulnerability [below].
I especially appreciate what Brown said about art being one of the most vulnerable acts: Pouring so much of yourself into something that never existed before and then sharing this deeply personal creation with the world, opening it up to the interpretation of both loved ones and total strangers. It’s terrifying. To be completely honest, I experience a mild panic attack every time I hit “Publish” on this blog. “People will hate it, Todd. They’ll brush it off. They’ll ignore it. They’ll compare it to the work of their favorite writer, and you will pale in comparison. Don’t do it. It isn’t worth the energy.”
Maybe that’s true.
Want to know something else that’s true? I’ll never know until I share.
But enough about me. Check out this video, and ask yourself the following questions: 1) How do you feel before you share your work with the world? 2) How do you respond to the vulnerability of others? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three things to grow: secrecy, silence and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in a petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive. The two most powerful words when we’re in struggle? ‘Me too.'”
-Brene Brown
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That’s a powerful point she makes, one that you cleverly gear towards our writing craft. You just said it; coming here and writing is like opening a double window that lets strangers look into our lives and our thoughts.
However, a very tough personal experience reminds me that “Me too” can’t be enough sometimes. Maybe the problem was too big, the shame too strong, because I knew that person didn’t need sympathy. They desperately needed a way to claw out and away from their pain.
GREAT thoughts, Joe. I appreciate you sharing your experience. It’s true: “Me too” isn’t always enough. Sometimes we need more intervention, sometimes we need to be let go of so that we can come back on our own, etc. Definitely a case-by-case thing. Thank’s for stopping by!
Question 1. I feel scared if the work I am sharing makes me too vulnerable or naked. But I also take comfort in the fact have to give away something for others to enjoy it.
Question 2. I try to be sensitive to the vulnerability of others as much as possible. I am always apologetic when I give feedback. I try to be sensitive to how they might feel or interpret what I say.
Definitely identify with those sentiments, Jim. And excellent word choice: “vulnerable or naked.” That’s exactly how it feels when something is deeply personal. It’s a huge risk to expose something like that, but you’re spot on in saying that it can bring insight or joy to others. That’s the greatest part of creating, in my opinion. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts, Jim – I appreciate it!
Todd, thank you for sharing these thoughts. It is so good to hear ME TOO. Your courage inspires me.
“Ill never know until I share.”
YES.
Thanks so much for stopping by, Ashley. “Me too” is something we all should hear much more often. Strength in community!